Saturday, July 13, 2013

Hold Up a Tampax and Let Out a War Cry



It is almost hard to believe, but there is a war on women.  Realistically, it shouldn’t seem possible.  I mean, we’ve had the right to vote for nearly one hundred years.  For nearly the same amount of time a woman’s US citizenship has not relied on that of her father or husband.  We have slowly been recognized as actual people.  Hooray for us!  I truly believe that if some have their way there will be a complete about face.
I admit, I’m a bit of a feminist.  I feel that women should be able to make their own choices.  There is nothing wrong with a woman deciding that she wants to remain single and focus on going as far as she possibly can in her chosen career, or staying home to be a wife and mother, or even a combination of the two.  To my mindset, being recognized as an equal to men means that we are not required to follow a certain path but instead follow what we feel our purpose in life should be, or just doing what we have to do.  (And yes, I am also completely behind men choosing to be the ones to be the stay at home spouse and parent.  Some men are wonderful at it.)

Then today I read about something that I thought had to be a hoax.  Then I saw more about it, and more.  I am still hoping, in a completely delusional kind of way, that it was actually just a joke that somehow began to be reported and shared on Facebook.  The resources make it unlikely, but I seriously hope that Texas did not confiscate feminine hygiene products and allow people carrying guns into the Texas Senate.  Keep in mind, I’m not totally anti-gun.  I don’t really like guns, but in fairness I haven’t used them much because we were raised not to touch them.  (Oh, they were there, and loaded, but Heaven help our butts if we went near them.)  My spouse has a concealed carry license; we have several guns and a crossbow in the house.  If I was totally anti-gun do you think they’d be in the house?  No!  While my husband enjoys shooting and likes guns, he likes marital relations better.  So it isn’t a matter of me being anti-gun or anything like that.  If the law allows them to carry concealed weapons into the Senate then fine, that’s their law.  (Sounds dumb as heck to me, but it’s their state and you probably picked up on the fact that I don’t live there, well if you read some of my other stuff.)  My issue is the confiscating feminine hygiene products for the safety of the Senators.

If you are a guy, let me give you a little DL on menstruation.  First of all, it is a bodily function that we have no control over (with the exception of some forms of birth control that can produce hormones that will prevent menstruation, but even then it isn’t a sure thing.)  Despite what tampon and feminine pad commercials will tell you, we don’t like our periods.  Oh sure, occasionally we have those “oh thank God, my period has started!” moments, but it isn’t because we like it but because we like what it means.  Totally different things.  There is not a single feminine hygiene product out there that will inspire us to spin in circles on a beach or a field of wild flowers; that is just advertising.  It is unpleasant for us.  We feel crampy and bleed like a stuck pig.  For some of us, a slasher flick has less blood.  And we have no control over this.  It isn’t like needing to pee; you can’t just “hold it.”  Your body decides it wants to shed its uterine lining and it happens.  I think the best thing I can realistically compare it to that a guy would understand is it is like a bad runny nose.  Imagine a really bad runny nose, and cold medicine does not exist.  Instead you just have to wipe that nose or let it run down your face.  You can’t control it, you’d rather not have it happening, but it is so you have to deal with it.  That’s the intro to what is like to be menstruating.  (See, doesn’t sound like fun does it?)  So yes, we do need those products.  And yes, many women carry one with them even when they don’t need them because we have all had those “surprise, the period is going to start early!” moments, plus as a courtesy we will offer them to our fellow females in need.  (Seriously, all my kids, the whole pregnancy, I had some in purse just in case someone needed one.)  To me, confiscating feminine products equals a statement of “your scary uteruses that we do not understand are not welcome here!”

Now, I know they were taken for fear that they would be thrown.  Do you know how much a tampon or a pad hurts???  I do.  Not at all.  See, my boys have thought that tampons were missiles.  So they have been thrown, as missiles would be thrown (you know, the plastic ones that come with toys), and I can say with certainty that they don’t hurt.  Doesn’t even leave a bruise.  (And I bruise worse than a peach.  I have gotten a bruise from my kids just thinking about jumping on me.)  My daughter enjoys dumping my purse, and when caught she has thrown a pad at me as distraction.  It also does not hurt.  I understand that for a very delicate male ego having feminine hygiene products at him could be harmful.  To this I say, “Man up!!!”  Being near a feminine hygiene product won’t make people think you are a female (as if there is anything wrong with that gender) or make you suddenly grow a vagina.  Seriously, if being near a feminine hygiene product caused a man to grow a vagina I am willing to bet that transgender men wishing to become female would opt for the fine they’d get for ripping open a few packages of pads and tampons in the store and rolling around in them instead of paying for the very expensive procedure.  (I’m kidding, they’d buy them.)  Maybe, and I know this is a farfetched maybe, but perhaps if you are so worried about women throwing feminine hygiene products at you because they are enraged, then maybe instead of taking these products away you should consider treating women as equals that are actually capable of making their own choices.

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